Story from Muslimah Network on facebook - part 9

Another day in the house, seems like seconds are hours and days like years. 

I give my father in law some tea and sit with him. "Mehreen beta, I'm so sorry about everything maybe if I hadn't asked for your marriage proposal you wouldn't have been suffering like this" he puts his head down in dismay..."No aba, it's not your fault, you only wanted the best for your son". I look at the clock tick tick tick tick and my heart beats at the same time. I need to make food because everyone will be eating at 12pm. I immediately get into motion like I've been programmed. 

My mother in law and Henna sit down to eat along with Amir and Hassan. I make hot chapatis and keep bringing them to the table.  "Mehreen bring me water please and my medication" says my mother in law. "Mehreen, I've told you i want fresh salad with my food, where is it" asks Henna, "Um its finished, we need to go to the. .."I begin saying "Um um um ha ha ha, what's the matter can't you speak English. Oh I forgot you can't can you" she says.  I stand trembling as she shouts at me "go and get me the coleslaw from the fridge". I go to the fridge and take the coleslaw out, but glass dish drops on the floor accidently, I start shaking and crying silently.  

"Mehreen, what have you broken now " screams my mother in law. "What now mama, can you guys just stop it, I'm fed up of this" says Hassan. He leaves his food and goes out. 

I begin picking the the glass from the floor and slowly turn around Henna is sitting next me. She gently picks up a piece and slaps my hand. I jump quickly and start panicking. "Ha ha ha Don't worry I won't cut your hand with this glass, well.....not today" she leaves I hear my mother and father in law arguing in the background. I stand in the store cupboard and sob till my eyes hurt. Later that day I hang the washing in the garden, I glance over in hope to see Pam I like her she is a nice stranger who always says "hello beautiful" I keep looking over my shoulder and she finally comes out, " hello beautiful how are. ..." Pam pauses looking at my red eyes "They been nasty again to you, listen girl why don't you leave them" she asks "I can't Pam it's not that easy" I say to her She looks at me and breaks one of the roses in her garde"Mehreen, what have you broken now " screams my mother in law "What now mama, can you guys just stop it, I'm fed up of this" says hasssan. He leaves his food and goes out. 

I begin picking the the glass from the floor and slowly turn around henna is sitting next me. She gently picks up a piece and slaps my hand. I jump quickly and start panicking. "Ha ha ha Don't worry I won't cut your hand with this glass, well.....not today" she leaves.  I hear my mother and father in law arguing in the background. I stand in the store cupboard and sob till my eyes hurt. 

Later that day I hang the washing in the garden, I glance over in hope to see Pam I like her, she is a nice stranger who always says "hello beautiful" I keep looking over my shoulder and she finally comes out, "hello beautiful how are. ..." Pam pauses looking at my red eyes "They been nasty again to you, listen girl why don't you leave them",she asks. "I can't Pam it's not that easy" I say to her. She looks at me and breaks one of the roses in her garden "here my darling, take this" she squeezes my hand and says "you want to leave say the word, I'll help you".  "but where will I go I don't know anyone, have no money, I don't know anything and they have my passport". I say to Pam. "You leave it to me I'll find out" says Pam. "and yes these are the new flowers that I'm growing" she says I look around and see my mother in law walking into the garden again and realise why Pam changed the subject.