Story from Muslimah Network on facebook - part 10

The pregnancy sickness didn't help especially when cooking, I had a strange craving of wanting to eating Jalapeños. "Here you go madam, more. Jalapeños" laughed hassan ".I'm off to a mates house will be back late" ...I looked at him with my mind speaking to me, what a strange relationship you have Mehreen your married and it's like your single, your husband is hardly home and when he comes home your conversations are about his friends both male and female.

"hello Wakey wakey" he says and leaves laughing. I oddly feel safe when hassan is home, but as soon as he leaves I feel lost and insecure. I stand munching a apple in the kitchen when henna walks in "Is that all you do all day long, just eat and eat" she says "I'm eating for two now remember". I smile nervously "Yeah whatever, just calm down this food cost money, which if you remember doesn't grow on trees, oops I forgot people back home don't really care do they" taunts henna. 

She's done it again, drained my emotions, I walk into the garden with the half eaten apple. I pause and look at the Apple with her words swirling in my mind, I sit on the chair and break down into tears. What am I supposed to do, I have to feed my baby, the apple falls on the floor and is dirty now. I look across pams garden to see if she is there, but no she isn't.

I remember my mama and break down again "Oye are you crying again" I look up its Pam, I stand up immediately like I've seen my mama calling me and walk quickly towards her. She hugs me tight and i feel so much comfort. "Oh Pam I don't know what to do, I should be happy that I'm pregnant but my circumstances are making me sad. ...

 Please call the national domestic violence helpline on 0808200247 for refuge space and advice