Story from Muslimah Network on facebook - part 11

I was getting bigger and heavier during my pregnancy, but the work didn't decrease neither did the taunts. I would often go into a gaze whilst washing the dishes in the kitchen, just so that I could find my own sanity and happiness for a few moments. I'd imagine how it would be when my baby arrives, would the unpleasant atmosphere change with the presence of a new born and how I'd hold my baby close to me and protect it. ...I sometimes sing songs and read stories to my baby, they say they can hear you and it soothes them, my and baby time I call it. 

 Hassan sometimes laughs at me when I waddle, Hassan....my husband my friend. ...so strange. If only he would stand up for me or take me away, I want my baby to be free from these difficulties i face. But hassan is in a world of his own mentally and physically. "Ok mehreen we are off now" shouts my mother in law from downstairs "don't forget to make the atta (flour)" "Yes mama I will, have a nice time" I call down.

The house is so empty, peaceful and quiet for a change. I go to the kitchen and get some jalapeños and doritos. Munch time for me and baby. Me and baby sit and watch tv which is never a privilege I get often, the programme starts and then later the news.

"In today's news we talk about the new laws on domestic abuse" says the lady on tv They show a interview with a woman whose face is concealed for her identity. I start crying when I hear her story its as if it I am talking, at the end they show a telephone number 08082000247 national domestic violence helpline. 

The front door opens its henna, I panic as she was not due home yet. "What are you doing watching tv" she yells "I was having a rest, I've finished all the cooking and cleaning, just need to make the atta" I say Henna looks slightly intoxicated, something she does quite regularly when her parents are out "Oyeeeeee get up" screams henna She grabs my arm and drags me to the kitchen "where are the keys for the back door?" she shouts.

I point at the draw, she takes them out and opens the back door its pouring down with rain and so cold. "Get out and stay out" she screams shaking my hair "No" I scream struggling but she doesn't listen to my plea I'm outside in the garden screaming in the cold rain "Open the door please henna, please im cold, my baby my babyyyy." 

Please call the national domestic violence helpline on 0808200247 for refuge space and advice